


When it all went down the drain

by Phck



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff, M/M, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Slow Build, Supportive Gavin Reed, one year after the revolution
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2020-04-12 11:22:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19131031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phck/pseuds/Phck
Summary: What was supposed to be another simple case of a homicide for Hank and Connor turns into a brawl with a killer and ends with an unconscious Hank in the hospital.How from this situation a bond was able to form between Connor and Gavin? No one is too sure.Or: Connor is under shock and Gavin Reed not that much of an asshole.





	1. Panic

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so I'm not completely a native english speaker, so if you find any mistakes etc. please tell me, I tried my best to beta read this myself but I might have missed some things. 
> 
> Also this is my first time writing fanfiction, so I'd really appreciate some feedback.

 

The second Connor had heard the sound of a gunshot from upstairs, he had felt like his thiriumpump stopped beating.

Panic made all kinds of warnings pop up before his eyes, blurring his vision and slowing down his processors. He felt like it took him forever to climb the stairs upwards, like he had slowed down about 80%.

This was probably the downside of having a computer as a brain. Despite only taking a few seconds to run up the staircase, his state of the art processors could analyze and process thousands of things in just barely a second, leaving the android over analyzing all different kinds of scenarios in his head for what felt like an eternity, panic rising so quickly that it felt like his stress level had just jumped from 12 to 95%.

His visual processors malfunctioned due to the quick rise in inner temperature and his audio processors blended out every yelling or sound of movement downstairs, replaying the sound of the gun in his head over and over again.

It took Connor 3 seconds to get to the room in which he knew Hank had been, only a split second to analyze the sight before him, and 4 to overwhelm and disarm the tall man who had been standing with his back to the door, noticing Connor way too late as his focus was on the Lieutenant who laid still on the floor, red spilling from the mans unconscious body dangerously fast onto the white carpet.

If Connor had a stomach, he was sure he’d thrown up at the sight of his partner wounded on the floor.

Instead, the android could only freeze up, with a strong grip pinning down the attacker, so shocked that he didn’t think about calling an ambulance until he heard loud footsteps on the wooden stairs quickly approaching him, making the call for emergency help as if he was on autopilot.

The android didn’t even register that some policemen had taken over the attacker, taking him downstairs, that he had started to press down on the Lieutenants wound in an attempt to provide first aid, or that tears had started pouring down his cheeks, the android screaming the Lieutenants name again and again and shivering uncontrollably with fear.

 

Only as two strong arms wrapped around his body and pulled him away from the unconscious man, even when the android protested loudly and tried hauling a punch at his attacker, did Connor somehow start to come back to his senses.

He saw two police officers kneeling besides Hank, preparing the man for the arrival of the paramedics, before he was pulled away from the scene, down the stairs and out of the back of the house into a small unkempt garden.

“Let me go, I have to be with the Lieutenant!” Connor cried out, trying to force his way out of the strong grip of arms that wrapped around his waist and chest. Usually the android would’ve easily been able to free himself, as he was way stronger than any human could be. But the overload of stress and emotion weakened his processors, leaving him with not even 50% of his strength.

“Ssh. Anderson is taken care of, you can’t do anymore than you already did right now.” Somewhere in his brain told Connor that he should recognize the voice of the man holding him but his systems were overloading, too many warnings blurring his sight, unable to find the small window with said information to the owner of the voice. “He’ll be fine. Everything will be fine, you need to calm down ok? Can you do that?”

Connor just shook his head. How could he calm down?! Hank was there, unconscious, and Connor wasn’t by his side. What if one of the policemen or paramedics messed up? Why had he let himself be taken away from the Lieutenant?

The grip around his body started loosening a bit. Not intending to let the android get away, but warm hands started rubbing small circles in a calming manner on Connor’s chest and stomach.

A few moments Connor remained a nervous mess, struggling against the touch. But with every passing second his mind slowly started clearing up bit by bit. He could feel how his body stopped tensing and see in the corner of his eyes the digits that informed him about his stress level slowly but gradually going down.

It was a good thing the man behind him had him in such a strong hold because suddenly Connor was sure he wouldn’t be able to stand without the support anymore. He leaned into the touch and the broad warm chest behind him, closing his eyes and taking a deep, shaky breath, cooling down his processors with the cool air and finally being able to stop the tears.

 

“Better?” The man asked, his arms tightening around the androids body in a comforting hug for just a split second before they let go and helped the exhausted android to support himself again.

 Standing on his own two feet now, Connor was able to turn around to the man behind him, whose warm hands still had a light grip on his waist, as if he didn’t trust in Connors ability to hold himself up on his own. Silently the android was actually a bit grateful for that, the touch feeling comforting and grounding. That is, until the android saw his saviors face.

What in the world was detective Reed doing, holding him close like that? No wonder Connor hadn’t been able to analyze the gentle voice back then, the tone being much too kind to even consider comparing it to the “Gavin Reed” voice samples that Connor had collected over the past year.

The android had only hesitated for a split second, not even allowing his face to express his confusion, but the short man caught on nonetheless, an ironic smirk stealing its way on his face.

“Didn’t think you tin cans could be so emotional.” Gavin said. Usually Connor would’ve been annoyed by that comment, but this time was different. Somehow the words lacked it’s usual bite. It felt less like it was intended to insult or offend him but more like intended to break the awkward moment and help Connor to come back to reality.

“Well of course you wouldn’t know, detective. It’s not like you’ve ever taken the time to get to know your android colleagues, right?” He wiped the tears stains from his cheeks with the back of his hand, the movements being clumsy unlike his usual perfect elegant posture, before straightening his tie in an unconscious reflex.

 

Ever since androids had been acknowledged as a new form of living being last year, Connor had tried different styles of clothing as to blend in better with humans and not to wear a uniform that represented slavery of his kind. Though nothing had felt quite right, until Hank had given him a tailored suit as a present for his deviation anniversary. (Which was quite stupid and unnecessary in Connors opinion, but the Lieutenant insisted of treating that day as an equivalent to human birthdays and seeing the grumpy man so exited and affectionate for a change made it impossible for Connor to protest but just accept the silly idea.)

The suit looked basically the same as his CyberLife uniform, just that there weren’t any glowing triangles or prints indicating that he was an android. It was just a plain version, even made out of the same material. It was perfect, and he had been really thankful for it. Especially since he noticed his coworkers being less hostile towards him ever since the, even if only small, change in appearance.

Hank had said that it was probably because they started to get accustomed to him being around and being his own person, and Connor thought the Lieutenant was right. Though he still kept his LED, unlike almost everyone else. He knew both humans and androids thought he was weird for keeping it, and Hank had nagged him to get rid of it more than just a few times in only the last couple of weeks, but Connor hadn’t listened.

He didn’t feel the need to blend in with humans flawlessly. He was ok with people knowing he was an android. There was nothing wrong with that. After all he was a machine. A deviant, feeling machine that looked like a human, but still a machine. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t a feeling person.

He thought it was quite the paradox, fighting for android rights but pretending to be a human. They were a different species, there were differences. It felt strange to pretend that there weren’t. So the LED stayed where it was, and people kept talking behind his back, questioning the Lieutenant whether Connor really had deviated or if he was spying on them for CyberLife. It was hilarious and sad at the same time.

 

Detective Reed didn’t really seem to have an answer to that, so he just shrugged his shoulders and shoved his hands in his jeans pockets, only now releasing the grip on Connors waist, leaving the android strangely cold, his stress level increasing the tiniest bit again. For a moment they just stood there awkwardly, somehow too close to each other but neither of them knowing what to do or say, until the door behind them got opened and officer Chen stepped into the garden.

“There you are.” She raised an eyebrow on the strange picture of Reed and Connor before her eyes, but didn’t comment on the obviously awkward situation. “The paramedics are taking the Lieutenant to the hospital now, thought Connor might want to be there when he’s getting surgery.”  
Connor cringed at the words, his artificial gut twisting uncomfortably. His stress level rose again quickly and he felt his audio and visual sensors failing for split seconds, making it hard to really focus. “Thanks Tina. I’ll drive him there. Doesn’t look like our perfect plastic detective here is capable of anything besides panicking at the moment.” Officer Chen just nodded, hiding her confusion over Gavin's unusual kind behavior like a professional, and returned to the others to inform the higher ups of the current situation.

Connor let himself be led by Reeds hand through the house to the detectives car without complaining, the car being just like Hanks, quite old and without any autonomous driving equipment. He was too tired to wonder about Gavin's warm hand holding his tightly, thumb caressing the back of the androids hand in a gentle manner, and he didn’t protest or insist on driving himself. He knew he was in shock. He would probably crash into the next tree with his sensors still failing randomly.

And besides, it was somehow nice being treated kindly by detective Reed for a change, even if Connor wasn’t really able to focus on it.

 

The drive to the hospital was rather quick. None of them had uttered a word, Connor staring straight across the windshield on the road, catching detective Reed stealing quick glances at him from now and then, but pretending he didn’t notice. Instead he pretended that he was focused on the coin in his left hand.

When they arrived in front of the ER, Connor practically jumped out of the car, leaving the detective behind to park the car. As soon as he entered the way too bright foyer, a nurse came up to him, showing him the way to the waiting area in the surgery section. Officer Chen must have informed the hospital about him. He was thankful for that, making a mental note to speak to officer Chen about it some time, but focusing on the situation at hand for now.

“How long will it take?” Connor asked the nurse that was already on her way back. The woman turned to look at him with a perfect smile. “We can’t say for sure. An hour or two at least. Please be patient, or surgeons are doing everything they can. I will talk to you as soon as I have any news.”

Inside the android was a nervous mess, but he somehow managed to nod in understanding, his gaze becoming unfocused as he set an internal timer to two hours. If he hadn’t heard anything in two ours, he’d probably force his way into the operation room, just to make sure that the Lieutenant was still alive.

“You look creepy. Did they give you any news on Anderson's situation?” Connor hadn’t noticed detective Reed approaching him, the android making a startled noise and jump a little, before being able to catch himself again. How did he not notice the human? He was panting audibly, probably ran the way here. It was a wonder Connor was able to miss that. A bit worrying.

The brunette just gave him an amused look, lips forming into his usual smirk, seemingly enjoying the androids not so perfect behavior.

“I was told that it could take around two hours at least, and that I’d be informed as soon as there were news.”

Gavin nodded, his gaze scanning his surroundings absentmindedly. The small waiting room was empty aside from the two of them, undecorated and providing with a few chairs and sofas space for approximately ten people. Next to the glass door which they had walked through on their way in was an old snack vending machine that definitely had seen some better days, the lights inside fizzling as if fighting for a last breath. Overall: the room was really depressing and spending hours of uncertainty there was bound to make them go crazy. At least make Gavin go crazy, he wasn’t sure how Connor felt about decor. Did androids even pay attention to that crap? It was probably inefficient in their eyes. The human contemplated just asking the android but decided now was not the right time.

“If it’s gonna take that long we should probably take a seat and try to get comfortable.”

Connor turned to look at the shorter man, confusion on his face. “We?” He asked, tilting his head to look down at Gavin in clear confusion.

“Oh c’mon tin-can! I know I’m an asshole but I’m not gonna let you sit through this alone for two hours.” And as if to make a point, the detective let himself fall on a sofa that definitely had looked more comfortable than it ended up being, giving the android an expectant look until Connor sat down next to him with a resigned artificial sight, back straight in perfect posture.

 

“You’re a strange man, detective Reed.” The android said softly, and Gavin could’ve sworn that there had been something like a smile for a split second on the androids lips.

 

“Well, you know what they say: it takes one to know one.” He smirked at Connors raised eyebrow, neither of them saying anything after that.

 


	2. Awake but unwell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen at the hospital. One might even say it gets hot. (This is a terrible joke I'm sorry.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I anticipated being able to upload this chapter sooner but I got injured in a mosh pit and wasn’t able to move my arm... Moving on here is the awkward second chapter, I beta read this real quick but I might've overseen some mistakes, sorry.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left Kudos and kind comments!! Enjoy!

After one hour, 22 minutes and 16 seconds the nurse entered the room to give them an update, only to find the human leaning against the androids shoulder, eyes closed and breathing softly, while the android seemed to be in a state of stasis himself, though his hands were still fiddling with a coin.

The woman suppressed a small chuckle and cleared her throat to get their attention. Connors eyes snapped open immediately, bolting from his seat which led to Gavin falling onto the couch, wakening the man crudely, pushing himself up and rubbing his eyes, not awake enough yet to focus on the conversation between the nurse and the android.

“It was a clean shot, the bullet went right through so it was easy to patch him up. Though he did loose a lot of blood so he is still unconscious.”  
Connor released a sound of relieve, loosening his tie in a nervous manner just to fix it again. “Can I see him?” He asked. The woman smiled at him warmly, already opening the glass door. “Sure. He should wake up sometime in the next hour or so. Though please try not to stress him if he does.”  
Connor followed the nurse down a large white corridor, Gavin stumbling behind trying to not loose sight of the android while attempting to wake up. He really had been out like a light, he realized to his embarrassment. So much for supporting the stupid tin-can. Gavin even slept on that pricks shoulder!

With bright red cheeks Gavin arrived at a room Connor had come to a halt in front of. A big glass wall let them look inside the withe room in which the Lieutenant laid still on a bed, tubes connecting him to monitors. Gavin shuddered at the sight. It was surreal to see the usually loud man laying still like that. A glance to his right told him that Connor felt just as disturbed by the sight, and Gavin put a hand on the androids shoulder to squeeze it in compassion.

“You can either wait out here or inside the room, if you’re quiet.” The nurse gave Gavin a last friendly smile, as Connor’s stare was glued on the Lieutenant, before she left the two of them alone in the big white corridor.  
“C’mon, you wanna go in there?” He noticed how Connor had started to shake a little under his touch. Honestly, Gavin was absolute shit at treating people gently, but he was really trying here not to become impatient. “You might feel better when you can monitor his vitals yourself or whatever you always do when you scan people.” It was a clumsy remark, but it made the android tear his gaze away and finally look at the shorter human.  
Gavin couldn’t read the androids expression. For a moment he feared that he had gone too far, but then Connor just nodded and reached for the scanner to open the room. “Aren’t you coming?” He asked as Gavin didn’t move.  
“I’ll get a coffee and give Fowler a status update, I’ll join you after.” He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. “‘Sides, I think you can use some time alone with him, right?”  
As he turned and left, he told himself that he just imagined the disappointment on Connors face.

Connor followed detective Reed with his eyes, as the man walked down the hallway with quick steps, leaving him all alone. Only a few hours ago, Connor wouldn't have been able to imagine a situation in which he actually wished the rude human wouldn’t leave him alone, but here he was, standing in front of the Lieutenants room like a lost puppy without it’s owner.  
Maybe he should just wait until the detective came back, Connor thought. Wait outside. But he was sure he’d have to listen to the detectives mocking when he came back. If he came back.

In the end it took Connor all his emotional strength to press his hand against the scanner and open the door, making a step inside carefully, as if he could hurt Hank with any noise he made.  
He pulled up a white chair that looked just as sterile as the rest of the room, and blended in perfectly for that matter, up to the Lieutenants bed and slowly sat down. His sensors had started analyzing breathing, heart rate and body temperature the moment as he entered the room, and Connor found himself relax a bit after there weren’t any changes in the minutes he sat there, just silently observing the man beside him, who looked so peaceful that if the android ignored the tubes he could almost fool himself to think the Lieutenant was simply sleeping.

What felt like an eternity ended up being 32 minutes and 25 seconds before there was a soft sound coming from the Lieutenant. Connor grabbed his hand, softly calling out the mans name to guide him to consciousness, while in his mind he send a message to the nurse to inform her about the new development, leading to a doctor followed by two nurses rushing into the room only a few moments later.

He didn’t want to let go of the Lieutenants hand, but he knew, rationally, that his presence right now was only a hindrance to the hospital staff, and even if it only lowered chances for Hank for barely 1%, it was a risk he wasn’t willing to take, and so he stepped outside, body shaking in nervous anticipation as the doctor checked on the waking Lieutenant, before Connor was allowed back in the room.

 

The man wasn’t awake for a long time, his body weak and needing rest. Connor was just happy to know that Hank would be fine, analyzing the mans breathing for a few minutes and just staying by his side, holding his hand tightly in his own.  
“Don’t look at me like that.” The Lieutenants voice was barely a whisper. “You don’t have to stay here all night and day and watch me sleep. I’m fine. I will be.”  
Connor had wanted to protest, but the human was stubborn as always, telling the android to take care of Sumo while he was in the hospital, knowing full well that Connor wouldn’t be able to say no to that.

It was almost over an hour ago that detective Reed had left him for coffee, and Connor had just assumed the man had left to return to the precinct, when he was proven wrong as he stepped out of the Lieutenants room, Gavin leaning against a wall, coffee in one hand and looking tired. As soon as Gavin noticed the androids presence, Connor was immediately met with curious eyes. If he didn’t know better, Connor would’ve thought that Gavin looked worried. But this was detective Reed. He didn’t worry. Right?

“How is the old man?” He asked, looking as tired as Connor felt internally. “He’s asleep again but he was lucky. He’ll be fine.” Gavin nodded silently, eyes pinned onto his coffee.  
“You didn’t come see him.” Connor said, free of any negative emotion, just stating a fact.  
“Yea, didn’t think the old man would want to see me so soon. And you looked like you needed the time for yourselves.” The detective took a sip from his cup, frowned and made a few steps to throw it into the next trash bin, Connors social sensors telling him that there was a certain tension and an underhanded message, though the android wasn’t able to figure out what exactly he didn’t seem to pick up on.

“Anyways, I called Fowler and gave him an update. He said that the bastard you’ve secured wasn’t interrogated yet, and he is willing to let me do it.”

“You? Why won’t he let me do it? I caught that man, shouldn’t it be my case?” Connor struggled to keep any irrational emotions out of his words and tone.  
“Well, usually yes. But since you’re personally affected by the action of that idiot you can’t be objective.”  
“So I’m just off the case? That’s stupid. I was build to interrogate! I’m not like a human, I’m perfectly able to stay objective and rational!” It was a lie. If Connor had the chance back there, he would’ve shot that man. But Fowler or Reed didn’t know that. This was just... stupid. He had made it his mission to get the man that harmed Hank behind bars, and Connor always accomplished his missions! There was just no way he’d just sit by and watch Reed.

“Give it up, tin-can! It’s a common rule that...’officers’ involved in a case don’t get to interrogate the suspects. There are no extra laws for androids in this case so you’ll just have to shut up and fucking take what you can get!” Detective Reed took a deep breath before he continued, this time more calmly, his voice almost a soft tone. “I already asked them to let me do it and let you watch as a compromise to some random low-rank officer do the work.”

It didn’t help. Connors Stress level was already too high, climbing steadily up to the 90% mark. It was getting dangerous, he knew that. But he couldn’t calm himself down, no matter what he tried. It was like his emotions got in the way and he couldn’t access his programming. He was trapped and could only watch in as much as surprise as horror how his stress increased and his hands closed into fists. He couldn’t take it.  
After the relieve of seeing Hank awake, even just for a few moments, this whole days events suddenly overwhelmed him, turning into unbearable anger towards the attacker, turning into blame towards himself.  
This was painful. He just wished everything would stop! Stop all movement and noise around him, so he could calm down, but it was impossible. Even the soft hum of the hospitals ventilation system was suddenly too much, seemed so loud that Connor wondered if his audio sensors had increased their sensitivity without his knowledge.

Maybe if he couldn’t get the world to be quiet, he’d simply had to shut himself down.

It was in that moment, that this thought had popped up in his head, his stress indicator reached 90%.  
It was in that moment, that Gavin noticed something was seriously wrong with Connor but the human didn’t know what to do.  
And it was only a millisecond later that Connor realized that this must’ve been how Daniel, or all the other androids for that matter, had felt like when they had acted irrationally. They really couldn’t help it back then. And Connor had made things for them so much worse.

It was the unbearable guilt that hit him with that thought, that send him over the edge.  
99% Stress. His HUD was blinking red with various warnings about core temperature and failure of biocomponents.

It felt like his insides were burning, and for the first time Connor actually experienced physical pain.

It shouldn’t have been possible. This should’ve never been able to happen to him. Yet here he was, losing all composure right in front of Reed, a hand pressing against his chest that felt too tight and too hot. His artificial breathing picked up it’s pace and he grabbed blindly at the plain white corridor wall in a desperate attempt to find stability.

Gavin stared at Connor in utter disbelief. Connor, who was always perfect and a bit too robotic, the annoying puppy faced tin-can having a nervous breakdown right in front of him was a sight the human definitely wasn’t prepared for. His knowledge about androids was about nothing but Gavin somehow felt like this wasn’t ok or normal at all. Something really bad was bound to happen, he could practically feel it already. But what should he do?

“Hey tin-can! What’s happening? Are you alright?”

Very smart words. Really. Of course Connor wasn’t alright. The detective rolled his eyes over himself. He really was shit at dealing with other peoples emotions.  
Though he had to admit that besides his worry it was actually very interesting to see Connor in his uncollected, well kinda his worst state. It made Gavin think that there really might be a conscious feeling being underneath all the plastic after all. Earlier he had acted totally on instinct, pulling Connor away from Anderson’s unconscious body, somehow not being able to bear the sight of the panicking android.

“I’m fine, detective.” Connor pressed the words out, gasping for air desperately which made his whole body shake. He didn’t feel good. He had lost completely all control over his program and he didn’t know what to do to make all this stop. It already cost all of his strength to cool down his processors to avoid reaching the 100% mark.

“Yea right. Hell, I thought you guys didn’t need to breathe.”  
“We don’t” Connor spat between two loud gasps. “It only helps... to cool down... the processors.” He had to take deep breaths between his words, static starting to crawl into his voice. He was losing it. He knew it.  
“Shit, but this isn’t normal, right? Maybe we should...”

“I said I’m fine.” Connor closed his eyes, overwhelmed by the sight of notifications popping up on his HUD. His voice was quite obviously glitching now and he absolutely hated the sound.

“No, you’re not. We need to get you help. Maybe we can call someone or...”

“Shit, Gavin! I said I’m fine!”

There was a loud banging sound. A crack in the wall, and blue blood dripping onto the white tiles of the hospital floor. Gavin wasn’t sure what surprised him more, Connors staticky screaming of a swearword or the hole in the wall where Connor had lounged his fist at. It kind of reminded Gavin of that one time in the evidence room. Connor must’ve gone easy on him back then, only knocking him out. Gavin felt a bit more respect he should’ve probably already had have towards Connor.

The thoughts about Connors inhuman strength were disrupted however when Gavin saw the android shaking violently, legs giving out and sagging to the ground.

Gavin was immediately at his side, pulling him close to stabilize him, almost burning his hands in the process when he grazed at Connor’s skin.  
“Phck this is totally not alright!” He mumbled against Connor’s neck. “Tell me what I can do to help you.”

“I don’t know. Too hot.” Was all Connor managed to say between two loud gasps. Gavin didn’t like this. He wished he was able to call for someone but they were alone in the corridor. Maybe he should’ve actually paid attention in the mandatory android classes they had held at the precinct a few months back to talk about first aid for androids. Back then he hadn’t given two fucks, still thinking androids weren’t alive. He deeply regretted that now.

Didn’t androids have panels all over their body? Would opening them help? Was that even possible? Manually from the outside? Right now Gavin thought that was his best choice of action to help Connor cool down, he had to see and try. While holding the shaking man in his left arm, his right hand started pressing down on the androids stomach blindly, trying to make out one of the panels Gavin knew existed somewhere.

A few hours ago he wouldn’t have imagined ever caring about the tin-cans well being, or any androids well being for that matter. But here he was, affected by some stupid emotional outburst that made his guts twist and leave him unable to ignore it, practically freaking out about how helpless and useless he felt, not knowing how to help Connor.

Clumsily, Gavin started to press down at Connors stomach, not being able to feel the seams of the panels through the shirt. Connor was whimpering now, head falling against Gavin's shoulder and the short man tried his best to hurry things up, sighing in relief when he felt something under his hands give away, a panel seeming to slide open with a silent hiss.  
Hot steam hitting his face immediately, making him pull back a bit, Connor’s head slumped down against his chest from the abrupt movement.

At first Connor simply continued twitching and whimpering, and Gavin thought maybe this hadn’t solved anything after all. But after a few moments Connor’s breathing started to slow down, the sound of desperate gasps for air changing into deep, concentrated breaths.  
When the twitching stopped and Connor leaned still against him, eyes still closed but seeming to cool down more and more, Gavin felt overwhelmed with a sense of relief. His left hand started drawing small circles on Connors still considerably hot back, his right hand reaching into the androids neat hair, tousling it, combing through it in slow, calming patterns and taking in the texture, just a tiny bit too soft and perfect to be actually human, but feeling nice between his fingers.

Honestly, at this point he didn’t even know anymore what he was doing, or why he suddenly got so affected by Connor and actually gave a fuck about someone else for once. He leaned against Connor, hands never stopping to stroke his back and head, closing his eyes. He was so tired. This day had been shit.

“Feeling better, tin-can?” He murmured when a few minutes had passed, neither of them saying a word or moving, but Connors body gradually turning back to it’s normal temperature.

Connor himself gradually gained back his consciousness, suddenly being hyper aware of the closeness between him and detective Reed, conflicted by the comfort the half-embrace brought and the awkwardness that came with it because it was Reed holding him.

He gave himself a few more seconds, deciding to just enjoy the touch as long as he had the chance, before he started straightening his back again, pulling away a bit from detective Reed. The comforting petting stopped and Connor cringed at how much he already missed it. Maybe he accidentally fried some hardware.

“I’m fine now.” Somehow there was an uncomfortable feeling deep inside his artificial gut, making it impossible for him to look Reed in the eyes.  
“I’m sorry for losing control like that. Thank you for helping me.”

Gavin watched as Connor fixated his gaze on a point on the flawlessly white floor, how he didn’t meet his eyes when thanking Gavin. A part of Gavin wanted to be surprised seeing Connor all shy and embarrassed, but then again, this day had showed him much weirder things.  
Though the intimate feeling really only hit him now, immediately making him feel awkward as well, leading to him scrambling to his feet with a grunt.

“If you’re fine now, then let’s go, dipshit. I’ll drive you home.” Gavin rubbed his hand over his eyes in exhaustion, though if he was totally honest it was more to hide a slight pink that started to creep onto his cheeks. He swore if this day was over he’d completely pretend like nothing ever happened.

Like Connor didn’t show him his weakness, like he didn’t totally gone soft on the android and fucking hugged him, like he didn’t enjoy the feeling of Connors soft brown hair on his skin and like he didn’t feel all mushy, confused and embarrassed by the fact that he’d probably never be able to forget anything about that in his whole life.

“Fuck.” He swore under his breath. “I’m so fucking done for.”

“Are you alright, detective?”

A glance over his shoulders, Gavin was met with brown puppy eyes that almost had a tinge of worry in them. Though Gavin knew that was impossible as those robotic eyes might look freakishly realistic but in the end were nothing more than human looking cameras.  
No, he really needed to stop projecting his own feelings.

“Just fine, tin-can. Though I’d appreciate if you could hurry it up, I’m fucking tired and I really wanna get outta this shithole!”

“Of course, my apologies.”

Gavin internally winced at the expression of a kicked puppy on the androids face, though he forced his face to remain in its usual frown.  
He really didn’t know what the hell he was doing. This whole day felt like a free fall and Gavin absolutely hated the feeling of having no control.

The drive to Lieutenant Anderson's house, Connor’s new home, was long and awkward. Neither of them said a word, until the silence got so unbearable that Gavin had to turn on the radio. Which meant a lot as he absolutely despised radio shows. The anchors were always too fake-happy, and the music they played was honest to god shit.  
Connor didn’t seem to mind the annoying noise at all, or maybe he just hid it better than Gavin. The human wondered why the fuck he was torturing himself the whole day and wasn’t exactly over the moon about his seemingly new found masochism.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally pulled up into the street of the Anderson home and came to a halt in front of the bungalow.  
Connor didn’t move. The android just stared out of the car window towards the front door, which could really use a new coat of paint- Connor stored that thought for later. It felt strange, returning home without Hank. This house had been his happy place ever since the revolution. He had experienced what it’s like to have a family and their unconditional love. Now that place seemed like a painful reminder of what he almost lost today, the thought causing ice cold fear run through his artificial veins, leaving him unable to move.  
He was mildly aware that detective Reed was staring at him, and he tried to pull himself together. He didn’t really need to show Reed more of his weak sides, as he was sure the human would use it against him at some point in the future.

“Thank you for driving me home and taking care of me, detective.”  
His voice was unusually quiet, a slight strain in it which irritated Connor. He would have to check his diagnostic program later to see if there was any damage in his voice box.

“Whatever.”

Still no movement. The awkward atmosphere started to really get on Gavin's nerves.  
“You plan on staying inside the car all night?”

Connor looked at him in surprise, as if he hadn’t noticed that he hadn’t gotten out yet. His hand reached for the doorknob, and Gavin could see him hesitating before slowly opening the door and stepping outside.

The android made his way to the front door, steps slow and seemingly heavy. Gavin let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing his hand over his face in exhaustion. He really, really just wanted to get home and curl up on his couch with his cat and pass out.  
He really had no clue why he pulled the keys out of the ignition and jogged up to Connor, who had just reached the front door, despite this fact but he found himself in front of the Anderson entrance door, arms crossed and patience running thin.  
“Did you need something from me, detective?” Connor asked in obvious surprise. He was too emotionally worn out to focus on maintaining his usual poker face.  
“I have no fucking clue why I even bother to deal with you but you look like you’re gonna short circuit if you’re gonna spend the night alone and I’m pretty sure Anderson would kill me if that happened. So shut up, no fucking word to anyone, or I swear I’ll kill you, and hurry it up and get a fucking move on, how long can it take for you tin-can to open a goddamn door lock?”

 

> Detective Reed has a tendency to hide his embarrassment behind excessive swearing, quick rambling and empty threats. <

A soft smile stole it’s way on Connor’s lips for a split second as he understood what the detective was implying. Connor must’ve really fried some important things during his breakdown at the hospital for such positive emotions to arise inside of him at the thought of extended time in detective Gavin Reed’s company. He should probably run a throughout diagnostic tonight, yet he couldn’t seem to find it in himself to actually care.

 

^ Gavin Reed; warm

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels like I've finally got over the part I needed for the sotry and can now start writing what I actually want. Hope the next chapters will feel less awkward. Thank you for reading this far!


	3. Serious talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Gavin keeps Connor company for the night they have some serious conversations.

The night he spend at the Anderson home will probably remain the weirdest sleepover for the rest of Gavin Reed's life. Not that Gavin had much experience with sleepovers besides when he crashed on Tina's couch after drinking too much, but still. 

 

He was sitting in an old armchair, a beer in one hand, watching Connor cuddle a beast of a dog on the sofa next to him. Gavin had been aware that Anderson owned a dog, but he had no clue such huge creatures even existed. He couldn’t understand how anyone could prefer this slobbering giant over a small, elegant cat. It had been almost an hour already, in which Connor hadn’t moved at all and just clung tightly to the dog, drool all over his right side where Sumo’s head was brushing against his shoulder, LED circling yellow for the longest time, until it finally settled back to it’s usual blue. 

Gavin turned his gaze in slight disgust, finishing his beer in lack of anything better to do with himself. Not that he’d turn into Anderson, but he’d really need more alcohol to survive this night. 

As he set his empty beer can on the cluttered coffee table in front of him, Connor perked up, paying the man more attention than he had in the past hour or so. The android opened his mouth as to say something, yet he found himself unable to form any sentence at all. What should he do? What to say? His social program decided that it was a good time to take a break, leaving the poor android with absolutely nothing. 

 

In the end it was Gavin who tried to break the awkward silence. 

“How is your wound?” He asked, not being able to see the damaged part of the android as the giant slobbering animal was blocking the view. “You need to take care of it? Like.... wield something back together or some shit?”

 

Connor tried his best not to react to the clumsy remark, yet he couldn’t help the cynical smile that spread on his face. 

“No, detective, I’m fine.” 

As to prove his point he held up his right hand for Gavin to inspect. The traces of thirium were gone and the skin looked perfect as ever. 

 

“Holy shit. I swear I saw you bleeding back there. When the fuck did you repair yourself?” Gavin was more than a bit surprised. He hadn’t really noticed anything. What a bad example of a detective.

The smile on Connors face got even wider and turned into almost a sneer. 

“You really should have paid more attention in your first aid for android classes, detective.” Gavin only gave an annoyed sound to that comment. “If you must know: androids are capable to self-repair themselves to a certain degree. Outer damage can be fixed in a few minutes, only damage to biocomponents and heavy damage to the chassis needs to be taken care of in a repair shop.” 

“Huh. So you’re telling me all of you plastic pricks are regenerating like some superhero? That’s fucking creepy!” 

 

“Our repair mechanism is far closer to that of a human than to a... superhero. If you cut your finger with a knife your skin will heal in a few days. If we cut ourselves lightly with a knife, our bodies can do the same as a humans, only considerably faster.” Connor gave Gavin a smile and a wink that made the humans brain stop functioning for a few seconds. 

“Huh.” Was all he could manage to say. 

“Wait. I’ve seen pretty messed up androids, there was this one who had gotten his face burnt by a blowtorch. He didn’t regenerate at all. Why?” 

“That can have multiple causes.” Connor tilted his head as he often did when he was thinking about the best approach to explain something so that a human could understand, LED spinning yellow for a brief moment. If it weren’t for his puppy eyes, Gavin would’ve been so pissed off at that sight. 

“For one, if our chassis break, and it’s not a clean crack, we cannot fix it. And sometimes we could but the repair units underneath got damaged. Besides that: if an androids chassis gets blow-torched it’ll be too deformed to fix. It’d need proper repair work and exchanging the damaged plates in order to be able to turn back to the original state.”

“I see. So you guys aren’t that different, besides that you can just exchange your broken parts.” Gavin found himself actually interested in all this android stuff for once. “How convenient.” 

 

Connor beamed at Gavin. For a moment he’d completely forgotten everything that had happened in the last few hours, only focusing on the unusual conversation he was able to have with Gavin, the human not insulting him or sneering at him as usual, so Connor felt like he should really make the best out of this opportunity. 

 

“You suddenly seem rather interested in my kind, detective.” Gavin rolled his eyes and was ready to give the android a rude remark, but the android didn’t let him. “I must say I’m pleased as I’m surprised. Talking to you can be unexpectedly pleasant.” Again that silly wink. Gavin wasn’t sure if he turned red with embarrassment or anger. Either way he felt kind of exposed in front of Connor. “Don’t get all cocky with me, tin-can!” He muttered, reaching for his beer can just to remember that it’s already empty, leaning back in his chair with a frustrated sigh. 

Of course Connor didn’t miss anything. Not Gavin's emotional turmoil and not that he’d forgotten to offer the human anything besides a beer. He gently removed Sumo from his lab and made his way to the kitchen. A quick scan of the fridge told him there was lasagna left which he decided to heat up in the microwave without question. 

“Do you have any more questions you’d like to have answered?” Connor asked as he returned to the living room, handing Gavin a plate of lasagna and a beer. Sumo made a small deep sounds and Connor sat down to let himself get buried under masses of dog and slobber again, scratching the dogs head lightly. 

 

Gavin had already started eating, too hungry to feel uncomfortable, and chewed thoughtfully. Normally his answer would’ve been an immediate ‘no’, but here he was, getting all curious over the plastic prick. It took a while for him to swallow and look at Connor, mainly because he was trying to drag things out. Yet he found himself caring less and less about his previous view on Connor and other androids. After today nothing really mattered anymore. “Yea, what’s up with your LED? I thought you guys are now free and shit.” 

Connor was taken a bit by surprise by the intimate question, and a part of him didn’t want to answer, in fear the old detective Reed would come back through and make his usual offensive remarks. Yet it had been Connor who’d offered to answer android related questions, and he couldn’t help but feel like he owed the human an answer now. Head tilted, LED spinning yellow, he was looking for the right words. When he’d tried to explain himself to Hank, the man hadn’t really understood Connors points, so this time he wanted to make sure he got it right. 

“To be honest, it’s not easy to explain.” Connor said as the silence had gotten a bit too long. “I know a lot of androids shed their LED's as to blend in with humans and not to get treated differently just because it’s obvious that they are an android. While I understand that desire, for me personally it’d feel like I’d fake being human, rather than being my own free person.” He couldn’t read Gavin's expression and for a moment he feared he hadn’t been able to convey his thoughts again. “It’s not like I want to keep it, but it also doesn’t bother me to have it. I know that it helps to read my expression, which can be convenient. I also don’t see it as a bad symbol like others might. There is simply no argument for keeping nor shedding it.” 

Ok. That might’ve not made things easier to understand after all. 

Gavin was silent for a while, deep in thought while chewing on his food. Connor was already thinking about how he could break the silence when he finally got a reaction from the human. 

“I think I get what you mean.” Gavin said calmly. “Androids are now recognized as their own species, yet so many try to be a plastic version of a human. I guess I understand why you’d wanna differ from humans, just until today I always wondered if you really deviated or whatever shitty name you call it now, or if you were still a spy sent by CyberLife.” 

Connor bit his tongue at the offensive language Gavin was using, reminding himself not to ruin the moment. “What made you so sure now after all this time? What changed?” 

“Oh, I dunno.” Gavin coughed sarcastically. “Maybe seeing you freak out, crying your fucking eyes out and having a robo-panic-attack did the trick.” Connor rolled his eyes with a slight hue of blue from embarrassment on his cheeks. 

“But maybe it was seeing you genuinely care about Anderson and your obvious love that made me realize I might’ve been a bit wrong.” The words were said quietly and Gavin started blushing violently while saying them, hastily reaching for his beer to take a few big gulps from it. Damn, when had he gone so soft? Someone please punch him back to normal. 

Connor looked at the man in surprise, a smile slowly forming on his lips, the blue blush intensifying. He knew that technically Gavin's view on him until now had been highly offensive and should’ve changed months ago like most humans. It shouldn’t be so nice hearing semi friendly words from his mouth, yet here they were, both blushing like idiots, a strange prickly sensation building in Connors stomach. “Thank you, detective.” He wasn’t sure why he said that, he could only say it felt right. Emotions still were a weird mystery to him. 

“Cut the detective. Not like I’ve ever thought it’d turn out this way, but after everything today just call me Gavin, tin-can.” 

Connor couldn’t stop the smile growing wider on his face, getting an embarrassed eye roll from the other. “Ok, Gavin.” The way the name rolled from his tongue was somehow interesting to Connor, the prickling feeling inside him getting stronger for a short moment. 

“I’m glad you were there today.” Connor quietly said after a while. “It’s been a long time since I’ve felt helpless. It’s a strange feeling I can’t seem to quite get used to.” 

“Yea no shit, Sherlock. No one ever gets used to feeling helpless. It sucks, but it’s just a part of it all. Can’t really do anything besides accepting it, really.” 

“How?” Connor’s brown eyes were vulnerable and his gaze raw when he turned to look at Gavin. “How can you just accept the possibility of losing someone important to you?” 

The human just shrugged his shoulders, unable to look at the other. “I guess everyone just forgets? Or at least they pretend to forget until something happens. There isn’t much else one can do.” He was aware that the answer didn’t satisfy Connor. He had to admit that it was shitty, but it was how humanity and life worked. 

 

“I don’t know,” Connor said after a long pause, staring at his hands he’d intervened in his lab, “If I can stand living like that. I thought today I might’ve lost everything I have.” His voice was barely a whisper and there was an uncontrollable shiver that ran through his whole body, suddenly leaving him feeling so very small and lost. The last time he’d felt like this was back in the zen garden, when the blizzard had threatened to take over his systems. The memory only made him shiver even more, and he got a message on his HUD informing him that his stress level was rising significantly again. 

“I know that the old man is important to you, but even if it’s painful it’s possible to live with the loss of a loved one.” 

“It’s not that easy. Hank was a key factor for me to be able to break out of my own code. Even now he helps me adapting, reassuring me when I’m uncertain about myself.” 

Gavin leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes. What was he even doing? He didn’t need to confront the tin-can with the harshness of reality when really he should be cheering the android up, reassuring him that everything would turn out alright. Yet he couldn’t help himself. 

“You must be really in love with Anderson.” Gavin said, and he wasn’t sure why his voice sounded so bitter at that statement. It’s wasn’t like he hadn’t had a hunch before. Why would he even care? 

 

“Yes, I love Hank very much.” Connor said, finally lifting his head for a moment to muster Gavin. “Though I think that emotion is a different one than what you seem to be implying, if I analyzed our conversation correctly.” 

Gavin was surprised that the tin-can managed to pick up on the more or less subtle implication, as the android rather often failed to detect sarcasm and underhanded insults. It made him wonder if Connor simply chose to ignore most rude remarks towards him. 

“Well then, what is the correct name for the emotion you have for the old fart?” Gavin asked sarcastically. 

“It is love, just not a romantic kind.” Connor tilted his head. “I guess the most accurate way to describe my relationship with the Lieutenant would be to say that at one point before I woke up he replaced Amanda for me.” For a moment the old memories flared up before his eyes, his LED spinning yellow as he lost himself in thought, missing the confused look on the others face until Gavin decided to ask: “Who the fuck is Amanda?” 

 

Connor startled out of his thoughts and came to look at Gavin with a mixture of surprise and horror. “Excuse me?” He asked, thinking he must’ve misheard things even though that was technically impossible. “You said Anderson replaced Amanda. Who’s that?” Gavin asked impatiently. He had no clue why the plastic prick was acting so weird all of a sudden. 

Connor didn’t move for quite a while. He ignored the impatient yet curious gaze from the human next to him, his LED circling red. Why had he said that? Amanda wasn’t a pleasant memory, Connor was still immensely scared that she might’ve still be inside him somewhere, just waiting to take over. He hadn’t told anyone about her existence, no one in Jericho anyway. Hank was the only one who knew of her existence, and it had taken quite some time for Connor until he finally was able to open up to his partner. He wasn’t really comfortable sharing such intimate details about himself with anyone, really. And he was sure that the detective would feel quite uncomfortable knowing Connor could potentially turn into a lifeless killing machine. He really couldn’t risk anything, not now that Gavin finally started to see him as a living person. 

“It’s nothing.” Connor said. “I didn’t mean to say that, it’s not important.” He tried for a smile, but his LED still spun red and he failed miserably. 

“Yeaa... suuure.” Gavin said, stretching each word to make it extra obvious he didn’t believe Connor one second. “She’s no one, I’m sure. So unimportant that you totally don’t look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Gavin stared at Connor, eyebrow raised, waiting for the android to start explaining himself. Connor felt more than uncomfortable. “Are you still hungry? There might be still something left in the fridge I could...” 

“Stop deflecting, especially if it’s gonna be this bad, and tell me who she is.” 

“I really don’t think...” 

After a look at Gavin, who seemed to loose his patience rather quickly, Connor gave up with a frustrated sigh. He had messed up, now he had to ‘suck it up like a man’, as Hank would probably say in a situation like this. The thought stung in Connors chest. 

“She wasn’t real. Or more like she used to exist for real, but the Amanda I know is an AI. Was an AI.” It was strangely satisfying seeing Gavin completely confused at the beginning of his explanation. “She was an interface through which I communicated with CyberLife. I got my orders from her. I trusted her, she felt like... something like a mother I guess.” 

“Well shit.” Gavin mumbled under his breath as he tried to comprehend what Connor just told him. Wasn’t that pretty... Creepy? “So what, she was like a voice in your head giving you orders?” 

Connor shook his head.

 

“No, not like that. She had a real form and everything, even if it was only in a simulation. I’d meet her in my mind palace, a garden where she used to live. We would talk, like normal people, and she’d praise me if I succeeded in my mission or get disappointed if I didn’t.” Connors voice trailed off as he remembered Amanda's disapproving expression. It still hurt. “To be honest she was mostly disappointed in me. She’d tell me I’d get replaced and decommissioned if I didn’t make any progress, and I really didn’t want that. But in the end I would have had to go against my own self in order to make her proud, though I doubt that she would have been proud even if I had succeeded. If it wasn’t for Hank who showed me friendship and praised me for every android I didn’t kill, I wouldn’t have been able to go against her. He showed me I could be more than that.” Connor had sunken into himself more and more as he kept talking until he buried his face in the long fur of sumo, who only snored loudly in response. Gavin needed some time to process what he’d just learned. It felt like too much, too creepy to be real, a sickening feeling spreading through his whole body. “What the hell?” He whispered. “That’s messed up. What is wrong with those CyberLife pricks?” Connor just shrugged his shoulders, not lifting his head in fear of seeing Gavin's face. He didn’t really want to analyze the discomfort he’d see there right now. 

“You said she used to exist. What, you just... uninstalled her or some shit?” 

Connor let out a snort, lifting his face just a little bit. “That’s such a typical way for you to put it.” He couldn’t help the grin that formed on his face despite the stress he still felt from this whole conversation. “I guess you could put it like that though. She’s gone.” And hopefully she’ll stay gone, Connor thought. 

 

They carried on with their night talking about less intimate topics, both of them feeling like they needed a break from all the seriousness, as if it would force them closer than either of them felt comfortable with at the moment.

Gavin fell asleep in the armchair at one point, refusing furiously when Connor offered Hanks bed. Like hell he’d sleep in Anderson's bed. That was too fucking weird.

He was woken up by the smell of coffee, his neck completely sore, and he wished for nothing more than to take the day off and sleep at home. But of course he had work to do, and so he ended up dropping Connor off at the hospital, carrying bags full of what Gavin assumed were Anderson's clothes, one hour before he usually left the house for work. At this point he felt more dead than alive.

 

***

 

 

Just as the previous day, Connor felt strangely disappointed when Gavin didn’t join him as he visited Hank. He knew it’d be probably awkward between the two humans, but after knowing the comfort of Gavin’s presence, Connor found it hard to suddenly live without it.

With a nervous feeling building inside his whole body, Connor pressed his hand to the panel at Hanks door, synthetic skin melting away to reveal white chassis for the briefest moment. When he entered the room, there was no trace left of yesterdays exhausting atmosphere. He had feared to see Hank weak and unconscious again, yet the man sat on his bed, comfortably sunken in a bunch of pillows, watching TV and eating apple slices. The picture was such a strong contrast to yesterday that Connor noticed his vision blurring, tears of relieve prickling in the corner of his eyes.

“Hey there.” Hank looked at the android with a wide grin, though his voice was still raspy and his hair a little unkempt, those being the only things that made him look sick.

“You look awfully chipper.” Connor whispered, brushing away a tear with the back of his hand, unconsciously mirroring the other’s smile.

“Hey, hey.” Hank tried to sit up straight and let out a pained moan when his wound didn’t let him. Connor was immediately by his side, gently pushing him down and stroking hair out of the humans eyes. “No need to cry Connor. I’m fine, I’m already much better.” He brought a hand to Connors cheek and the android leaned into the soft touch, closing his eyes, LED circling yellow. “You have no idea how worried I was.” He finally said, opening his eyes to lock his gaze with Hank’s. “I thought… I thought I might’ve lost you.”

Connor had to press those words out, them being barely a whisper as his voice box seemed to malfunction under the pressure of his emotions. It was more raw and emotional than he had intended those words to be, he had promised himself to be calm and collected, yet he didn’t have any energy left to care.

“I’m sorry, son. It won’t happen again, I’ll be more careful.”

Connor knew that Hank couldn’t guarantee anything, and that statistically speaking the chances were rather high for Hank to get injured again, but he chose to remain silent, just nodding and taking in the other’s body warmth. Hank was comfort, Hank meant home. Gavin had been a source of comfort as well, yet it had felt totally different. It made Connor wonder why. Maybe because he didn’t know the man as well as Hank? That didn’t make much sense though. He decided to push the thoughts aside and focus on the task at hand: take care of Hank. Confusing emotions were a thing to mull over during his private time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking so long to update. I hope I found all mistakes, if you find any please tell me.

**Author's Note:**

> I promise the next chapter will be a bit more interesting, things had to get started in this one..
> 
> I hope you've enjoyed this none the less.


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